In my recent Instagram post, I shared that I’ve struggled with negative self-talk a lot in my motherhood journey. In fact, I wasn’t even aware of how bad it was until I heard my son repeat the same things I said in a whisper to myself.
When I had minor mishaps or careless mistakes, I’d say, “I’m the worst or “how stupid of me,” and much worse. Then he was saying the same things to himself when his blocks fell over. I felt heartbroken hearing him talk to himself that way but knew where he had heard it.
It was my negative words coming out in his sweet toddler voice.
Our children are always watching and hearing us. We know that to be true.
The thing is we sometimes don’t see it till our sweet babies reflect it back to us.
We don’t want our children to talk down to themselves, so we need to be aware of how we are talking to ourselves.
So now that we have brought our awareness to this sneaky behavior how can we change it?
First start we have to start with what exactly is it that we are saying to ourselves. Most of us will have a loop that plays in our heads unconsciously. Start making notes of what that voice is saying. Does it sound like “I’m so tired and lazy” or “I’m so gross” or “I’m just not good enough”
Whatever is your go-to thought, you need to hear it for what it is. It’s that lower self keeping you down.
Next, replace the negative go-to thought with something positive. We need to change the script. Sometimes it will be a whole new phase, or sometimes it is just adding the word Yet.
Here are some examples of what I am talking about.
When I hear “I’m so tired” I turn into I am full of energy.
Or “I’m so disorganized” to I am learning to be more organized”
It’s not easy to change these patterns, but it starts with awareness and the willingness to change.
To help you with this process it’s important to expose yourself to positive thoughts. I am a big fan of affirmations or mantras. They can be simple or specific. You have to seek out the positive instead of focusing on the negative. If you don’t know where to start, I created an email series called 7 days of affirmations to restore the light to your motherhood. You can sign up for it here.
The last step is to practice gratitude.
It’s hard to say negative things when you are in a place of gratitude because you see all the blessings around you. I practice gratitude first thing in the morning as I sip my coffee and as I drift off to sleep at night. I’ve found that rattling off the things that I am grateful for helps my brain calm down when I am stressed or anxious. Gratitude is a simple but powerful tool to banish those negative thoughts.
My negative thoughts once plagued me, and it was spilling into my family.