I’ll be the first to admit my kids are not my whole world. But before you sputter and gasp at this cringeworthy admission, hear me out.
My kids are my number one priority and play a central role in my life; but they are not my world. Why? Because it’s an expectation I refuse to place on myself or on my children.
Now don’t get me wrong, when I became a mother my entire being shifted. I found myself viewing the world through a completely different lens now that this little sweet but often smelly, being moved in. I found as my baby grew I was closing my eyes during the scary parts of movies again, gauging everyday household items based on the degree of danger they posed, and I slowly started to morph myself into the expectation of motherhood that society spoon feeds us on a daily basis.
Between mommy bloggers and the never-ending Pinterest boards, I began to place unreasonable expectations on myself and on my child.
Our time quickly became consumed with various crafts, activities, and playdates; and my calendar quickly filled with endless to-do’s and household chores.
It wasn’t long before we both succumbed to a level of exhaustion that would never have happened if I would have followed one piece of advice: relax and enjoy the ride.
It’s the piece of advice that unwelcome strangers give us as we walk through the grocery store with a screaming toddler in tow. The advice of: ‘Enjoy it while you can’ or ‘You’ll miss this one day’ that we often dismiss or try to ignore.
As a new mom I was less worried about enjoying the small things and more worried about doing it right. Making sure I was giving my child the best experiences, the best opportunities, and the best of friends. And in doing so I began to lose myself and lose sight of what’s really important after all: the journey.
It’s not just the little things I needed to enjoy but also the big things, and everything else in between. We were missing out on opportunities for growth because that’s what the journey is all about. It’s about growing as individuals, us as mothers but also our children. And in order for us to grow we need to have space.
But so often we pack our schedules so tight that we leave little to no space for the miracles to happen.
Space to find the parts of motherhood we love, and the parts we don’t. Space for us to embrace our strengths and delegate our weaknesses. Space for us to evolve not only as mothers but as individuals as well.
And the much-needed space for our children. Space for them to make mistakes on their own and to discover who they are and what they like. Space for them to play and pretend. And most importantly space for them to be bored and create.
For a brief period of time, I had made my child my entire world, and it wasn’t good for either of us.