Self-Care is NOT Selfish
I am guilty of sacrificing my needs for my family, especially now with being home 24/7 with no breaks. The thing is I’m breaking and if we don’t take the time to refuel and refresh ourselves then we can not help our families.
The thing is I keep hearing all sorts of opinions on what is self-care and what isn’t. It makes me exhausted and confused. I mean sitting and drinking my coffee the way I like it and finishing it while it’s still hot seems like self-care but yet I’m told it’s more than that. Taking a walk down an aisle enjoying the smells and soft music playing in the background isn’t self-care enough. I’m supposed to go on a mini-vacation or attend a workshop or take myself away for a day to explore some culturally acceptable activity. The reality is self-care is not a one-stop-shop.
Self-care is comprised of mainly 4 areas. Mental, physical, spiritual, educational.
So sitting in the chair with my coffee is self-care. It hits my mental for allowing myself to breathe and grant myself a pause from the whirlwind of the day, physical because I am giving myself a boost of caffeine that will help energize me for the next task I have and spiritual in the way I can show gratitude for the creator of coffee and the ability to enjoy it.
For me, self-care is about taking a moment to see what you desire and allowing yourself the time to enjoy it. This reenergizes us in ways that fill up our cup so we can keep giving.
Some need big acts of self-care and others need a small moment frequently to recharge.
Not all self-care is giving us comfort or even that joy. Selfcare can be making us feel discomfort in the short but in the long term giving us great satisfaction. Working out is self-care but I find no joy in it. I know moving my body is best but no matter how I look at it I despise it in the short term. The long term results allow me to enjoy the comforting self-care activities guilt-free. So the combination of the two allows me to hit all my self-care goals.
I think finding this balance is the epitome of self-care. Everyone’s balance is different and though others may disagree there is no wrong way to have self-care except for no self-care.
Exploring what you need in the 4 areas of self-care will allow you to find the right balance for you. If you are lucky maybe you will find one activity that hits all the areas but most likely you will have many that hit on some needs but struggle for others.
To get you started here are some thoughts:
– wake up and be phone-free for the first hour and journal for 15 minutes with or without a cup of coffee
– Have a dance party in the kitchen
– take a bath and listen to music or a podcast
– take 5 minutes and look at yourself and say nice things. (super simple but hard)
– take a walk in nature without looking at your phone
– sign up for a course in something that interests you
– schedule a day 1x a month to get out of your home and explore a new town or store
– make a date with a friend
– treat yourself to something that brings you joy
– make time to play and laugh every day
– Sit and envision your life 5 or 10 years from now and think how great you feel
– make your bed
These are just a couple of ideas to get you started. The thing is self-care isn’t a thing to do or something you buy. It is a choice to make your needs known and take a step towards that.
So if you need permission to do something for yourself that lights you up, Permission granted. Let this week start with some self-love. I’d love to hear what you do! Maybe you will inspire another!