Over the years fathers have done an amazing job setting boundaries for themselves and creating peaceful places for them to go and get away from the real world. And it’s an approach that overall has been widely accepted by society, enough so that a father’s sacred space has even coined itself a name, a ‘man cave’.
And in seeing the benefits that having one’s own personal space provides we have even found time and room to create this same idea of sacred space for our kids by setting up designated playrooms, or less commonly known as ‘kid caves’. And these spaces, just like the man cave, have become so instilled in society that entire homes are being designed with playrooms in mind.
But my question is why did we stop there?
I don’t know if it was the motivation springing from the start of a new school year or the burnt out summer version of me coming to the surface, but either way over the last few weeks I began to realize more and more how much I was missing a sacred space for myself.
Somewhere where I could go and hide, even if it was for only 5 minutes, but a place for me to just decompress, cry, laugh, read, eat chocolate, or anything else that my heart desires.
And that’s when it hit me… I needed a ‘Mom Cave’.
Then right after that thought I felt a pang of guilt creep up from within. I started to have thoughts like ‘who am I to take an entire room away from my family?’ or ‘that space could be used for so much more than just my hideout.’
However, these thoughts are part of the problem. We have spent years normalizing sacred spaces for our family but we have neglected to normalize sacred space for ourselves.
Instead of taking some time and some space to allow ourselves to thrive as individuals, we continue to give and give.
Moms, it’s time that we learn that it’s okay to take and in fact it’s down right necessary if we want to continue to be the amazing mothers that we are. Because taking time to ourselves or space to ourselves is how we recharge our battery in order to help our kids flourish.
Not to mention how important it is that we demonstrate safe and healthy ways to set boundaries and perform self care so our children don’t grow up with the old antiquated mindset that a man cave is okay but a mom cave isn’t.
So this week take some time to decide where your sacred space is going to be. Whether it’s an entire room or your bathroom, just decide where it is and then make it yours. Bring in some magazines or artwork that inspires you. Light some candles to relax you. Or find a place to stash all the good candy this Halloween. And finally use it!
Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, sad, excited, motivated, whatever it is. Go ahead and take 5 fully selfish minutes to yourself.