As moms, we are the curator of our children’s memories.

We keep the finger paintings, the scribbles on note pads, the mother’s day projects, and endless other papers that fill our homes.

It is another burden that can weigh on our motherhood journey and make us feel trapped.

I have been guilty of holding one saying I will make photo books out of the endless “art” they bring home. But I don’t, and it ends up stuffed in drawers or bags that fill my closets. I can’t bear to throw them away, but also I can breathe from the weight of all of it.

But approaching the paper piles without a plan can spell big trouble.

One time I did start throwing away any school paper my son’s teacher had checked only to find out that he was supposed to keep his state of the week sheets for an end-of-the-year project. Total mom fail that then made me stress to never throw anything out with double checking again.

I had a chance to talk with Tamar Prager  (who is an expert on dealing with “paper weight” ) about coping with the end-of-school papers on their way home in the backpacks of children as the end of the school year quickly approaches.

Tamar gave helpful tips on ways to approach the paper clutter so that everyone feels lighter from it.

The top 3 tips I took away from our insightful conversation were.

1) Know your child -Is everything a must keep or do they even care? She said some kids have no attachment, and you can quickly go through their papers with or without (though I now always go through with them to avoid the mistake I shared above).

Other kids are attached to every piece of paper. In those cases, she suggested having a waiting period to allow for the energy of the end of the school year to disperse and showing a few pieces at a time. It’s not worth fighting over the papers but allow for a contained space to hold them while you go through the process.

2) Have a Bin or box ready so you know where you are keeping and how much space you have. 

You can get a fancy plastic bin or just save an amazon box. Label what you are putting in it and have space where you will store it.

3) What is your intention for keeping the paper/project?

Knowing why you are keeping it helps to figure out if it’s essential or just extra. Tarma said, “As moms, we are the containers for so very much. Finding ways to let a lot of it go, is such a worthwhile path.” Have a conversation with your child beforehand to help them think about what they need or want and what they can let go. Holding on to papers creates hidden burdens that we will need to process at some point. Teaching children to let go of these unnecessary papers will help them to let go of other weights in life that hold them back.

In the end what we keep we allow to hold a place in our lives. Allowing ourselves the freedom to let go instead of being a prisoner to these memories can help us to treasure the present moments with our family without the burden of stuff.

Go check out the live for the entire conversation and leave a comment if you found it liberating. Also, check out @tamarprager for more tips on getting rid of paper weight. 

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Good Mom Friends are like knowing Unicorns exist.

What makes a mom friend a Unicorn friend?

These moms that are chill, make you laugh but can sympathize with your challenges. They make you feel on-trend but unique at the same time. They are always is prepared and know all the fun places but don’t make you feel self-conscious or like a hot mess when you arrive late for the playdate. Moms that show up with the correct beverage of choice and whose advice never fails. They are magical in a way that after you leave them, you feel inspired and uplifted.

They make you feel like you are not alone on this journey called motherhood.

Finding Good Mom friends may seem as elusive as spotting a Unicorn.

Where do you find them, and how do you become friends with them?

Traditional ways have been pouncing on them at playgrounds or sitting next to them at mommy and me classes. Other ways are through social media apps, especially my favorite Instagram. But in a case of fate, you end up on their front lawn with the town police helping you to catch your run-away dogs and discover your best friend.

However, you come across them celebrate it for finding a unicorn mom friend. It is hitting the lottery of mom friends.

Mom friends are a constant source of

Though we all have our struggles and different viewpoints that can challenge us, there is comfort in knowing that we are growing and changing together. Having a chance to share about nighttime feedings, diaper blowouts, and how our bodies and hair are changing allows us to feel connected.

Motherhood with mom friends that support you is worth their weight in gold.

So may you find them but more importantly be one!

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Self-Care is NOT Selfish

I am guilty of sacrificing my needs for my family, especially now with being home 24/7 with no breaks. The thing is I’m breaking and if we don’t take the time to refuel and refresh ourselves then we can not help our families. 

The thing is I keep hearing all sorts of opinions on what is self-care and what isn’t. It makes me exhausted and confused. I mean sitting and drinking my coffee the way I like it and finishing it while it’s still hot seems like self-care but yet I’m told it’s more than that. Taking a walk down an aisle enjoying the smells and soft music playing in the background isn’t self-care enough. I’m supposed to go on a mini-vacation or attend a workshop or take myself away for a day to explore some culturally acceptable activity. The reality is self-care is not a one-stop-shop.

Self-care is comprised of mainly 4 areas. Mental, physical, spiritual, educational. 

So sitting in the chair with my coffee is self-care. It hits my mental for allowing myself to breathe and grant myself a pause from the whirlwind of the day, physical because I am giving myself a boost of caffeine that will help energize me for the next task I have and spiritual in the way I can show gratitude for the creator of coffee and the ability to enjoy it. 

For me, self-care is about taking a moment to see what you desire and allowing yourself the time to enjoy it. This reenergizes us in ways that fill up our cup so we can keep giving. 

Some need big acts of self-care and others need a small moment frequently to recharge.

Not all self-care is giving us comfort or even that joy. Selfcare can be making us feel discomfort in the short but in the long term giving us great satisfaction. Working out is self-care but I find no joy in it. I know moving my body is best but no matter how I look at it I despise it in the short term. The long term results allow me to enjoy the comforting self-care activities guilt-free. So the combination of the two allows me to hit all my self-care goals.

I think finding this balance is the epitome of self-care. Everyone’s balance is different and though others may disagree there is no wrong way to have self-care except for no self-care.

Exploring what you need in the 4 areas of self-care will allow you to find the right balance for you. If you are lucky maybe you will find one activity that hits all the areas but most likely you will have many that hit on some needs but struggle for others.

To get you started here are some thoughts:

– wake up and be phone-free for the first hour and journal for 15 minutes with or without a cup of coffee

– Have a dance party in the kitchen

– take a bath and listen to music or a podcast

– take 5 minutes and look at yourself and say nice things. (super simple but hard)

– take a walk in nature without looking at your phone

– sign up for a course in something that interests you 

– schedule a day 1x a month to get out of your home and explore a new town or store

– make a date with a friend 

– treat yourself to something that brings you joy

– make time to play and laugh every day

– Sit and envision your life 5 or 10 years from now and think how great you feel

– make your bed

These are just a couple of ideas to get you started. The thing is self-care isn’t a thing to do or something you buy. It is a choice to make your needs known and take a step towards that.

So if you need permission to do something for yourself that lights you up, Permission granted. Let this week start with some self-love. I’d love to hear what you do! Maybe you will inspire another!

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